Confession: It took me months to love my baby

 
 
Anxiety, disappointment and pain stopped me from bonding.
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It Took Me Months to Love My Baby, and I Don't Feel Guilty About It Anymore
 
During the procedure, I was able to keep it together by focusing on my breath, but after the surgery my brain went crazy. The nurse wanted to put the baby on my chest, but I didn't want him. I couldn't process what had happened. I was desperate, and I had to ask for medication to calm me down.

When the OB-GYN came to visit me in the recovery room, she could see that I was devastated. "How are you?" she asked. "I didn't want a C-section. My body hurts. I'm hurting everywhere," I replied. "I know what you're going through," she told me, though what she said next resonated even more: "You're mourning the delivery experience you didn't have."

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