It's OK if your priorities in a partner have changed after lockdown

What matters to you may have changed after 18 months of a world in free fall. The Guyliner spoke to the experts about what people are looking for in post-pandemic partners

It's OK if your priorities in a partner have changed after lockdown What matters to you may have changed after 18 months of a world in free fall. The Guyliner spoke to the experts about what people are looking for in post-pandemic partners Justin Myers, The Guyliner After everything that's happened, do you feel your priorities have changed? Do things you once thought vitally important now seem insignificant? And conversely, do you now find yourself making space at the top of your list for stuff that would've been pretty minor or not even on your radar 18 months ago? Alongside the pandemic's devastation and upheaval has come a reckoning of sorts. Whether we're lucky enough to be in the position to pause and take stock or trying desperately to regain control of our own lives following Covid's domination, there's a feeling of "What now?", of "How do we take ourselves forward?" Individual traumas will linger; like our eyes becoming accustomed to a change in light, the retreat of Covid's shadow will take collective adjustment. While the everyday has been on hold, we've had plenty of time to think about what we do and don't want. Do we go back to that long commute – although it's worth remembering some do enjoy that hour each way as their only source of me time. Should we be living in a different town? Is now the time to move to a farm? Should we give up meat? Is yoga actually working or should we start doing deadlifts? Millions of personal epiphanies, all happening at once, like a bonus New Year's Day.   Daters are no stranger to these epiphanies – single people don't need a pandemic or the chimes of Big Ben to reevaluate what the hell they're doing with their lives, it happens on a regular basis. Every breakup, every ghosting, every "Well they seemed nice on the first date but I noticed loud chewing on the second and unsuitable post-toilet hand washing routine on the third" letdown: they all spark a reappraisal, a recalibration of the algorithm. There are fewer tools more powerful for making a change than a "Never again" after a disastrous date and dealbreakers and red flags change constantly based on experience. Dating post-pandemic, however, is more proactive, more introspective; maybe we're more open to taking a chance, exploring beyond our echo chamber of criteria. Marine Ravinet, head of trends at dating app Happn, says singletons' approach to dating is changing noticeably. "We can see a shift in what's important to daters now, compared to this time last year," says Ravinet. "Singles have had the opportunity to reflect on their experiences – whether they've wanted to or not."   When you think about your specific "type", might 18 months alone have shifted your thinking? Like them tall and handsome or small enough to pop in your pocket? Some dealbreakers remain unshakeable. Before Covid, almost a third of Happn users said potential love interests would have to measure up, with height being one thing they'd refuse to be swayed on, and the pandemic has done nothing to change that. Other preferences for physical attributes are likely to be tough to cast aside too, but attitudes to body shape may be more flexible. We've all dealt with lockdowns in our own way, with some of us leaving our body to do its own thing, others ramping up the Peloton sweats and some embracing the fact that there are bigger things to worry about than your jeans size. It could go either way, of course – some daters could decide their finite time on earth can only be spent with someone who looks like they were created in a lab by yoga instructors, while others may see the light and learn to accept body shapes that don't follow the Instagram aesthetic. If the imminent threat of a fatal lung condition has taught us anything, it should be to take our head out of our arse when it comes to our attitude about how people look.   Perhaps one surprising aesthetic agenda item in our post-Covid dating renaissance is eye colour – the pandemic has seen a boom in appreciation for baby blues and sultry browns and everything in-between, with 17.5 per cent of Happn's dating pool saying eye colour is a dealbreaker – 12 per cent higher than pre-Covid. I find ocular fetishism bizarre at the best of times, but I'm intrigued by this. Why didn't it matter before? Perhaps a year of living behind masks and staring into each other's eyes for emotional cues or hours spent strangulated by boredom and craving attention on work Zoom calls has come with the added bonus of suddenly realising the attractiveness of eyes the colour of mould on a Bleuchâtel. Lucky me.   But what about other previously valuable attributes? In an increasingly polarised world, we might look to avoid anyone whose politics we'd normally scroll past in horror. But while political views were a top dealbreaker before, now only a fifth of Happn users say they're important. Sales of "Never kissed a Tory" mugs must be plummeting as horny politico singles cross the floor for their first double-vaxxed fumblings, their party principles rendered meaningless by 18 months of Covid cock block. But if we're willing to overlook dodgy views on social justice, what about filthy lucre?   Fewer Happn daters reckon financial status is as important as it used to be, perhaps due in part to their own circumstances changing after a year in furlough. It's heart-warming stuff, but hopefully we'll still enjoy money-based dating rituals such as phoning in to local radio to discuss whether it's appropriate to split the bill on a first date. A commitment to religion can be a positive dealbreaker or a red flag, depending on your own stance, but it seems sex is going secular, with only 19 per cent saying religion is important, a fall of six per cent. Red flags, however, tend not to change their hue. An attitude to alcohol remains a huge sticking point for most singletons, with 20 per cent of users claiming they were unmovable on this pre-Covid, whether it was a fondness for abstainers or an eagerness to meet some friendly drunks.   Maybe the post-coronavirus landscape will see a shift from facts and stats to feelings. If bank balances and the colour of our rosettes (and eyes) are insignificant our emotional wellbeing has rocketed in value. Top of the priorities leaderboard for Happn users were a good sense of humour, an ability to talk about feelings and a sociable personality – a new feature on Happn called, appropriately enough, "Similarities" automatically looks for common personality traits and makes sure the right people are connecting up – which suggest we're searching for meaning as well as a lover. Not that there's anything wrong with being shallow; blue-eyed lovers, blink my way.   Whether this suggests a permanent change in priorities or just a post-pandemic blip, only time will tell, but Covid has created a new dealbreaker all of its own – the vaccine. A quarter of singletons reckon it's important to be vaccinated before meeting anyone in real life. The message is loud and clear: you can't shoot your shot until you've had yours. MORE FROM GQ Been through a break-up? You need to delete each other's nudes → It's time to stop playing hard to get → How to tell if a romantic gesture is too much→ INTRODUCING... 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