Musk Sells Twitter After It Fails to Make Him Interesting

"I really thought that owning Twitter would transform my image as a black hole of neediness," the Tesla C.E.O. said.

View in browser | Update your preferences Not the news. Musk Sells Twitter After It Fails to Make Him Interesting "I really thought that owning Twitter would transform my image as a black hole of neediness," the Tesla C.E.O. said. By Andy Borowitz     Satire from The Borowitz Report Kavanaugh Claims Protesters Outside Home Obstructing Daily Keg Delivery "The United States Constitution explicitly protects my right to an uninterrupted flow of beer," the Supreme Court Justice declared. By Andy Borowitz     Satire from The Borowitz Report Kavanaugh Asks if Anyone Has Seen Briefcase He Accidentally Left at Bar Last Week The jurist said that, after work last Friday, he dropped into a bar near the Supreme Court "to have a few pops," and inadvertently forgot to take his briefcase when he left. By Andy Borowitz More Humor from The New Yorker     Daily Cartoon Daily Cartoon: Tuesday, May 10th The ravishing—albeit fleeting—beauty of cherry-blossom season. By Ali Solomon     Daily Shouts So You'd Like to Unsubscribe from Our Falcon-Delivery Service We're so sorry about the loss of your chihuahua. By Kira Garcia Back to the Real News     Comment How Alito's Draft Opinion on Abortion Rights Would Change America One way to illustrate the reach of the leaked draft by the Supreme Court Justice is to look at what the options for defending reproductive rights would be in its wake. By Amy Davidson Sorkin     Politics and More Podcast The Fate of Abortion After the Supreme Court Leak A draft decision by Samuel Alito suggests that a majority of Justices might reconsider other personal rights after overturning Roe v. Wade. By The New Yorker     Our Columnists Justice Alito's Draft Ruling on Abortion Shows the Need to Curb Minority Rule If the Justices who have made the Supreme Court an agent of conservative counter-revolution overturn Roe v. Wade, there is no reason to believe that they will stop there. By John Cassidy     Politics and More Podcast A Ukrainian Diplomat on the Future of Russian Aggression Sergiy Kyslytsya, who represents Ukraine at the United Nations, says the U.N.'s flaws come from Stalin's "DNA." He fears a brutal offensive in advance of Russia's May 9th holiday. By The New Yorker You're receiving this e-mail because you signed up for The Borowitz Report from The New Yorker. Was this e-mail forwarded to you? Sign up.   Unsubscribe | Manage your e-mail preferences | Send newsletter feedback | View our privacy policy    Copyright © Condé Nast 2022. One World Trade Center, New York, NY 10007. All rights reserved.