Why Don't Millennials and Gen Zers Identify as Swingers?

"You ready to fuck some boomers?" I asked my girlfriend right as our plane landed in Cabo San Lucas. She nodded with a wicked grin on her face. After all, that's why we were in Mexico—to attend a swingers takeover at an all-inclusive resort: all you could eat, all you could drink, and all you could fuck.

Despite the images on the website of the company organizing the takeover, which used stock photos of impossibly attractive women in their late twenties, I had been to enough swingers events and resorts before to know that wasn't actually their clientele. For some reason, they all use similar stock photos of younger women when the average age of attendees is in the early 50s. Many of the swingers there would have kids my age, and some would even have grandkids.

To be clear, this didn't bother me one bit. I love having sex with MILFS, GILFS, DILFS, and GILFS (grandpas, this time). I mean, who's more in right now than a daddy? And having sex with a MILF satisfies my unconscious Oedipal desires that I refuse to unpack in therapy. Needless to say, I was excited, and so too was my girlfriend, who is borderline obsessed with men double her age. (It was unclear what about me she found attractive.)

Now, I know our excitement was unique to us. Most Millennials—even those in open relationships—don't attend swingers resorts because they simply don't identify as swingers.


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