Thursday, January 12, 2023 |
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When's the last time you said "I'm sorry"? "Sorry" has fast become one of the most overused words in my vocabulary, especially at work. I apologize for responding to an email late, stumbling over my words in a meeting, sliding past someone in a hallway — you name it, I've probably apologized for it. Turns out, I'm not alone. My best friend Violet and I spent the first Sunday of the new year crafting vision boards over coffee, dreaming out loud about all the things we hoped to accomplish in 2023. The goal at the top of her list? To stop saying "sorry" all the time. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm just apologizing for existing," she told me. "The more I use the word, too, the less meaning it has." A series of studies found that women tend to say "I'm sorry" more than men because they report committing more offenses worthy of an apology. The knee-jerk reaction to be polite can come from a place of insecurity, and is especially common among both women and people of color, Patrice Williams Lindo, CEO of Career Nomad, a career consulting firm, recently told CNBC Make It's Ashton Jackson. |
"We are taught culturally, especially from a Black woman's perspective, to be super humble and to downplay our wins. That's how I was raised," Lindo said. "It was a problem to be prideful in the way you spoke about yourself and your accomplishments. So we feel inadequate and insecure." Over-apologizing can backfire, especially in the workplace: It can undermine your confidence, make people lose respect for you and diminish the impact of future apologies. Maurice Schweitzer, a chaired professor of management at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, recommends replacing "I'm sorry" with other phrases when you want to express empathy or take accountability: - Replace "I'm sorry for this mistake" with "I'm taking responsibility for this, and here's how I plan to fix it."
- Replace "I'm sorry for being late" with "Thanks for your patience."
- Replace "I'm sorry you're stressed" with "I noticed you have a lot on your plate. Can I help you? Do you need a break?"
The key, Schweitzer told CNBC Make It's Megan Sauer, is to show you're taking responsibility for your actions while suggesting solutions that can help you move forward, rather than dwelling on past mistakes. While a sincere apology isn't bad, you should only be saying "I'm sorry" when you truly mean it, to ensure it comes across as genuine, according to Lindo. Being more intentional about where and how you apologize can help you overcome any awkwardness and be perceived by others as more confident and dependable. Constantly saying "I'm sorry" is a bad, ingrained habit I'm still working to quit. But in 2023, I'm determined to apologize less, express gratitude more and make every "sorry" count. |
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Engineer saw how diapers were made, thought she could do better—now she has a $250,000 'Shark Tank' deal |
As an engineer at Procter & Gamble, Amrita Saigal didn't understand why the company made sanitary napkins and diapers with harsh chemicals. So in 2012, Saigal quit her dream job to design her own sanitary napkins and diapers from more eco-friendly materials like banana peel fibers and cotton. Her company, Kudos, brought in $850,000 in revenue in its first full year of business — and recently scored a $250,000 investment from Mark Cuban and guest Shark Gwyneth Paltrow. |
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