EASTON, PA (The Borowitz Report)—JD Vance found himself embroiled in scandal on the eve of Tuesday’s vice-presidential debate amid reports that he had accepted payments from the makeup brand Maybelline.
According to the reports, the Ohio senator received in excess of $62,000 in exchange for wearing Maybelline’s Tattoo Studio Smokey Gel Pencil Eyeliner during his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention.
A defiant Vance told reporters that the money he accepted from Maybelline did not “in any way influence my decision to use their eyeliner, which has been my go-to makeup product since high school.”
Lashing out at his accusers, the senator said, “If wanting to look beautiful is a crime, I plead guilty.”
TBR Debate Live Chat!
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As a premium feature for paid subscribers, I’m hosting a live chat during the VP debate. Join me and your fellow TBR readers as we watch JD Vance make himself even more despised!
I’m returning to the wonderful McCarter Theatre in Princeton, NJ for one night only on October 26. I’ll be offering an evening of election therapy when we’ll all need it most. Tickets are now on sale here.
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