Walz Demolished Vance, According to Poll of Cats
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Tim Walz trounced Senator JD Vance in Tuesday night’s vice-presidential debate, according to an instant poll of cats. Ninety-eight percent of cats who watched the debate said that Walz won, despite Vance’s having whiskers and eye makeup that made him slightly resemble a cat. A broad majority of the cats found Vance “repellent,” with 94 percent saying they would “prefer a dog.” Finally, 79 percent of cats surveyed said that, if the election were held today, they would pee on Vance. Trump Replaces Vance with Sarah PalinProfile in Ignorance: JD VanceWho is Trump’s Biggest Loser? |
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