Published by | | | Let's face it: Most advice sounds trite. Follow your dreams. Confront your fears. Listen to your heart. Or, as one poster that adorned my middle-school classroom, and likely a thousand others, read, You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. (Extremely corny, but not untrue.) That's the thing about advice — it's often general, but when applied specifically, it fits the contours of our lives and offers a way forward. At the close of this staggeringly difficult year, we asked you to share the nuggets of wisdom that carried you through. Find 10 responses below. On a personal note, in recent months I've found myself questioning how deep of a commitment I'm prepared to make to my own creative writing. The best advice I received was along the lines of, "I know you're afraid, but at some point, you've just got to take a leap." And just like, I saw a path. The words were wholly unoriginal, and yet exactly what I needed to hear. Responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity. | | | "I heard this from a woman interviewed on NPR a while ago who works with prisoners. I think it means that, despite all evidence to the contrary, we must actively seek out reasons to hope. As a daily practice, whenever I catch myself becoming gloomy and despairing, I look for reasons to be hopeful. Things are always changing; when they are good, it always ends eventually. So, it stands to reason that when things are bad, that must change, too. I still believe, like Anne Frank, that most people are good. I believe in democracy. I believe in the resilience of the human spirit." — Carol Spizman, 55, Albuquerque, N.M. | 'It's okay not to be okay.' | | | "This year was challenging for me because of social isolation and touch starvation. I was doing so much better than so many people, though, so I wouldn't let myself be sad or scared because I didn't feel I had a right. But it was still hard, still stressful, and while I'm grateful for all the good fortune I have (job, health insurance, a home, Internet), getting permission to mourn, feel lonely and freak out was really important." — Karina Montgomery, 50, San Diego, Calif. | | | "It came from a man panhandling at an ultra-busy intersection. I typically hand panhandlers protein bars; I was out of them that day but had purchased a box of fruit-filled cookies, so I grabbed them swiftly from my back seat and handed him the entire box. His eyes lit up and he said, 'This will make my kids' day. It's been a long time since they've had a treat. We all need a treat.' Yes, yes we do! It is literally that simple." — Barbara Wagner, 57, Lexington, Ky. | 'Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.' | | | "A friend gave me this quotation from Ann Patchett. This one helps me in so many ways, mostly just living in the moment. Especially during the isolation of the pandemic, I am always looking forward to eventually being in the presence of my friends. But the quote tells me that rather than focusing on the future, I should take a look at what is around me. I am able to connect with people through technology. In my art projects, I used to struggle so much for a particular outcome and was frustrated when it didn't happen. This quote reminds me that I can stop, look at what I've done, see that I have made a happy mistake and move from there." — Bobbie Hayes, 73, Eureka, Calif. | Collages by Rachel Orr using iStock images. Download the collages for your phone or desktop background here. | | | | Three need-to-know stories | | (iStock; Lily illustration) | 01.Last week, California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) chose his secretary of state, Alex Padilla, to fill the Senate seat that will be vacated by Vice President-elect Kamala D. Harris when she steps down. That means there will be no Black women in the Senate come January — an exemplification of the racism and sexism Black women continue to face, one writer argues. 02.While nationwide birth rate data won't be available for some months, the first wave of pandemic babies — children conceived and born during the pandemic — is making its way into the world. 03.Anthony Quinn Warner was responsible for the Christmas morning explosion that rocked downtown Nashville, officials said Sunday, and he was killed in the blast. Investigators matched human remains found at the scene with Warner's DNA, confirming suspicions that he blew himself up in a recreational vehicle, Tennessee Bureau of Investigation Director David Rausch told reporters. | | | | | (ullstein bild/ via Getty Images/Bettman Archive) | Beth Harmon, the female chess prodigy in the hit Netflix series "The Queen's Gambit," is fictional. But Vera Menchik is real. Born in Moscow in 1906, Menchik went on to astonish the chess world by taking down high-level male opponents in the 1920s and '30s, writes Michael S. Rosenwald in The Washington Post. In 1927, Menchik won the first Women's World Chess Championship. She kept handily winning women's matches, so she started playing in male tournaments, becoming the first woman to do so. She played in more than three dozen male tournaments, beating many of the top players; newspapers around the globe covered her matches. She died in 1944, during a a Nazi air raid on London; a rocket hit the home where she lived with her mother and sister. She was 38. | | | | But before we part, some recs | | (Marvin Joseph for The Washington Post) | Nneka McGuiremultiplatform editor, The LilyWhat I'm reading:"Writers & Lovers," by Lily King. It's a novel about writing a novel, which Washington Post book critic Ron Charles says is an absolute no-no — unless you can pull it off, like this author did. How I'm taking workday breaks:Bypassing my phone and picking up a book. Instead of scrolling through social media or browsing articles when I need a breather, lately I've been grabbing a novel and reading a page or two. It's grounding. What's elevating my kitchen experience:These stainless steel measuring cups and spoons. The spoons are rectangular, so they can easily fit into spice containers, and the whole set is easy on the eye. | | | | |
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