Trump’s Arteries Unlikely to Serve Third Term
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The arteries of Donald J. Trump are “extremely unlikely” to serve a third term in the White House, the blood vessels said on Tuesday. In a social media post, the vascular tubes pushed back against Trump’s recent musings about remaining in office beyond his second term. “Leaving aside the constitutional issues, there are serious anatomical issues,” the arteries said. “The pressure on us has been unbearable.” At the White House, Trump slammed his arteries’ comments, telling reporters, “My circulatory system has treated me very unfairly.” TBR Question of the Day: Which parts of Trump’s body have already failed?Now More Than Ever: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today. |
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