Let’s Put Kristi Noem out of Work

Thursday, January 15, 2026

So, we have an entire Department of Homeland Security. (Kristi Noem won't let you forget it, not even when you're in line at the TSA—her face is on every TV screen). But what does homeland security even mean these days? Apparently, the president thinks it means dispatching the military to quash protests in Minnesota using the Insurrection Act. Esquire political columnist Charles P. Pierce thinks it's something else entirely, however, something wasteful and dangerous and destructive. In fact, he's in favor of dissolving the whole damn Department of Homeland Security. Why? Read below.

—Chris Hatler, deputy editor

Plus:

Why Stop at ICE? Let's Dismantle the Entire Department of Homeland Security.

A recent poll suggests that Americans want to abolish the agency responsible for killing Renee Good. I say we take things one step further—and put Kristi Noem out of work.

In the wake of the broad-daylight murder of Renee Good by a deputized federal officer in Minneapolis, there have been some increasingly loud cries to eliminate ICE, both from elected officials and from the public at large. Which means it's time again to saddle up one of my oldest hobbyhorses. The hell with ICE. Let's go for the gold and disband the Department of Homeland Security. Spread its functions around the rest of the federal law-enforcement apparatus. And put Kristi Noem out of work. Bonus!

The DHS is an extraneous agency, born out of tragedy and political opportunism. Right from its name, with all the echoes of shiny boots that come with the word homeland, the organization has just been sitting there for years, waiting for an eager president to weaponize it as his personal police force. That wheel has fairly obviously come around at last. Break it, as John F. Kennedy wanted to do, into a thousand pieces.

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If you're not as savvy as the person you're buying for, don't worry. It's my job to search for the latest and greatest tech and award the best gadgets every year. I know that another regular pair of wireless earbuds and a portable charger are not standout gifts unless they're the absolute best. That's the promise here. From smart-home devices to revolutionary tablets, this is a list of the best stuff that they probably don't have already.

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This is not just a villain. Giamatti is bringing full-blown sonuvabitch energy to his Star Trek antagonist. It's a grim but invigorating contrast to the salt-of-the-earth Starfleet chancellor Nahla Ake (played by Holly Hunter,) who is presiding over a group of idealistic young cadets in the Paramount+ show. "He's a little jealous of all the sort of good, clean fun these people are having. So he really wants to take it all out," Giamatti tells Esquire.

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