Trump’s Ballroom Isn’t Going Well

Monday, March 30, 2026

I went on a tour of the White House in 2018. Back in the good, old days of Trump I, you began your tour the way folks had for a century: at the East Wing. It was sort of underwhelming. It kind of felt like going to any other museum or landmark tour. But that's what filled me with awe. In the time Americans had been visiting the White House through the East Wing, our country had literally changed the world—and we didn't need a big, flashy building to make that point. Welp. Today Charles P. Pierce took a look at the plans for Trump II ballroom, built where the East Wing once stood, and not only is it a big, flashy building, but it's kind of… an architectural disaster? Naturally, Pierce has thoughts. Read them below.

– Kevin Dupzyk, features director

Plus:

The White House Ballroom Is Already a Monstrous Disaster

They haven't even built the damn thing yet, but maybe we should all start stockpiling sledgehammers for January 2029.

It is now plain that El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago plans to leave his architectural spoor all over the District, a living celebration of his two catastrophic presidencies. I remember when people ridiculed Grover Norquist's Ronald Reagan Legacy Project, an ambitious plan to raise memorials to Reagan in every county in the country. That was how we got Reagan National Airport and the Reagan Building, the biggest office building in D.C. It also slapped or tried to slap the former president's name on a highway in Alabama, a mountain in New Hampshire, a missile site in North Dakota, a shipyard in Pago Pago, and dozens of other roadways and elementary schools around the country. Reagan at least had the good grace to let other people aggrandize him.

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Finally, Stretchy Pants Look Cool as Hell

Hard pants have a time and place. 'Course they do. We love a suit. Love a trouser. Love a jean, even. But sometimes, you want a pant that moves with you rather than against you—one that won't harbor any resentment if you drink four too many beers or start to feel uncomfortable after a long day in the car or on an airplane. And while athleisure, jogger-type pants can be great for truly casual situations, we have something even better: the elastic waistband.

Here, we have trousers, chinos, and linen pants with stretchy waistbands for reasons that are both aesthetic and functional. They make the pants look laid-back, and they also make them feel comfortable—like something you actually don't mind putting on. Maybe you're thinking elastic waistbands are for toddlers. And they are. But why should toddlers get all the fun? We want in, too.

By Christine Flammia

I Kayaked Across the Ocean Solo in My 40s. Here Are the Messy Details.

I awaken in my kayak, about a half hour before sunrise. I'm so low to the water that any wave could swamp my cockpit. After I prepare my food for the day—freeze-dried meals that total 4,000 calories—I check messages on my Garmin InReach about the weather, the force of the winds. Based on that, I decide on what clothes to wear: Do I get the complete foul-weather outfit or shorts and a windbreaker? As soon as the sun rises, I dip my double blade in the water and start to paddle.

I keep watch for obstacles. Whales can push my boat around. I could hit a floating container or the ship it fell from at any time. It requires discipline to do this all day, while also thinking about my health. What if I cut myself? Hurt my eyes? Or have GI issues?

After the sun goes down, I wake up every hour to check my plotter. I've got a piece of equipment called the Automatic Identification System, or AIS, that broadcasts my position to other boats. But I still have to be aware, so I look to make sure there are no ships coming my way. When I reach the middle of the night, I wake up to hydrate and eat before going back to sleep.

I'm wet all the time—even my sleeping bag is wet. There's no comfort. But I push my boundaries over and over again, every day for months, for as long as it takes to get all the way across the ocean.

As Told to Stinson Carter